The Chrysanthemum
by xblkdragonx
Summary: Japan wants to reunite with his family but is afraid to do so


Sunlight shone through the windows as Japan leisurely walked down the hallway, enjoying the warmth of the rays. He was an hour early for the meeting and most likely no one was here except for him. So when he heard voices ahead of him, he was surprised.

"Who could be here already? Germany perhaps? No, Italy most likely would detain him. Maybe it's Russia and Canada-san," Japan thought as he rounded the corner. His heart clenched and sank at the sight before him. It wasn't Russia or Canada.

"What are you doing here, Sealand aru?"

"I'm gonna get other countries to recognize me! Stupid England keeps ignoring me."

China bent down until he was eye level with the smaller nation, patting him on the head, "Sneaking in to meetings won't get other nations to acknowledge you."

Sealand stuck out his tongue, "Bleh! So says that country that got admitted into the UN."

China gave Sealand a weak laugh, scratching his head in embarrassment, "Um…don't mention that to Taiwan please aru."

"Huh? Why not?"

Instead of answering, China quickly asked if Sealand was hungry, mumbling something about, "Taiwan, frying pans, and hanging out with Hungary" and stuffed Sealand with some baozis.

China straightened and stretched, his arms raised above his head, "Alright, aru. We have an hour before the meeting starts. Want to come with me on a walk, aru?"

Sealand hesitated for a moment, still chewing on the baozi. As if sensing his hesitation, China gave him a reassuring smile, holding out his hand. Sealand eyed the hand with suspicion before tentatively placing his into the older nation's.

China gave the small hand in his a firm squeeze, "Do you like the baozi aru?"

Sealand shyly nodded his head in answer and China chuckled, thinking without a doubt, he and England were related.

Japan smiled at the receding image of China and Sealand walking hand in hand together. China was still the same. He couldn't help being the big brother even though no one asked him to.

"_Japan you scraped your knee, aru"_

"_It is nothing. But I thank you for your concern."_

"_Let me see it."_

"_Honestly, it's nothing. It'll heal on it's own-ah!"_

_Japan rubbed his forehead where China flicked it. When he met China's eyes, he could see his brother pouting his lips in disapproval._

"_Japan, you're bleeding. I won't think less of you if cry aru. Little kids are suppose to cry whenever they want. Do you know why aru?"_

_Japan sniffed, tears prickling the corner of his eyes at the stinging pain on his knee, shook his head._

_China gave that smile of his and began tending his younger sibling's knee, "It's because when you become a grown nation, a lot of things will happen to you. Some of them very painful but no matter how much it hurts, you can never cry, aru. You represent your people so you can't be weak," China patted Japan's head, "But you're still a kid, you don't have that responsibility yet aru. So cry as much as you want before you're no longer allowed to."_

It was a fond memory that Japan tucked away in the back of his mind. Like with all the other fond memories involving China, it was often accompanied by darker ones. China followed his own advice that he gave Japan so long ago. He did not cry when his body was ravaged by the European powers. He did not shed a tear as Hong Kong and Vietnam was ripped away from him. Not a drop of salty liquid escaped his eye when decisions were forced upon him as poison continuously ran through his veins. He eyes stayed furiously dry as Japan slashed first through his clothes then flesh. It remained clear even as he drowned in his own blood, watching Japan walk away from him.

Japan uncharacteristically slammed his hand against the wall in an attempt to clear away the unpleasant memory. The sound reverberated and echoed down the empty hallway as if mimicking the memories flitting through Japan's mind, not letting him forget. Where was he as Europe laid waste to his beloved older brother? In the sidelines observing, thinking, "We need to modernize. We cannot become another China." What was he doing when the older nation was thrown into riots and civil unrest? Cutting his ties with his siblings and creating bonds with the very nations that wrecked his family. And now? What and where was he? Alone among strangers. Oh he had friends. Greece and America were fun to be around. Germany and Italy made him smile. Yes he had friends. Precious, precious friends. However no matter how important his friends became it could never replace the void left in his heart when he turned his back on his family.

"_Hey, hey Nini, can you tell us a story before we go to sleep?" _

_China sighed, "I will if you stop jumping around, Korea."_

_Korea promptly plopped down and laid his head on China's lap. China softly shifted his fingers through Korea's hair, "Which story should I tell you tonight aru?"_

"_Can you tell us about Sun Wukong again?" Hong Kong timidly asked._

_Japan could feel Taiwan tackle him from behind, exclaiming, "Eh, not again! We've heard the story so many times! Can't we hear another story?"_

_Hong Kong lips quivered but China wrapped an arm around him, pulling him close, "I'll tell you about how Wukong defeat the Centipede another time alright? Tonight I'll tell you the story about the three kingdoms that emerged after the fall of the Han dynasty aru."_

"_China had prospered during the time when the Han ruled the kingdom. As with all things, however, nothing lasts aru. When the Han fell, chaos and disorder took over the country…" Japan heard China's melodious voice begin the story. He snuggled deeper into the blanket, enveloped in the warmth created by sleeping next to Taiwan and Korea. Just before he fell asleep, the last thing he heard was, "And so Cao Cao created the next dynasty. However despite being a brilliant military leader, he had no one. When he died, the people only remembered him as a cruel, merciless tyrant aru."_

How fitting, Japan thought, that he would remember that now. He wanted to own and unite his siblings under his modern house. In the end, despite his best intention, they were all lost to him now. Deep in his thought, Japan barely caught the sound of the clock chiming it was time for the meeting. Steeling himself, he quickly walked towards the meeting room, forgetting the pleasant rays of the sun he was basking in a moment earlier. When Japan opened the door, he was greeted by Italy enthusiastically waving at him, "Japan, Japan! Germany and I saved you a seat ve~"

"Thank you, Italy," Japan smiled and sat down right next to Italy…and face to face with China.

"H…hello, China."

"Japan," China inclined his head in acknowledgement before coolly turning his head away, striking up a conversation with Canada. Japan bit his lip. The blatant reject cut deeper than any sword could.

"Japan," Germany felt obligated to ask, "is something wrong? You were almost late. Usually you're more punctual than this."

Japan shook his head, "No. Nothing is wrong. I…I just lost track of time. It won't happen again."

The meeting began soon after America made his grand entrance (_the hero always comes fashionably late to save the day_). Japan honestly tried to keep his mind on the issue at hand but his eyes kept drifting back to China. Not once did China glance back his way.

"_What should I do, Ge ge?" a young China was once asked by an even younger Japan. _

_Both of them sat side by side on the porch, gazing at the moon. Nighttime in China was peacefully quiet. The occasional sound that could be heard was the shifting of leaves as the summer breeze blew by. _

"_What is it that you need help with aru?"_

"_My boss demands that I need a human name but I don't know. I decided upon Honda as my surname since many great people have such a surname but as for my given name…."_

"_Ah and you want your great older brother to name you! I'm so honored aru!"_

"_Uh…I'm not really asking you to name me. I'm sorry if I gave you that assumption. I was merely just asking for suggestions."_

_China waved away Japan's concerns, "Don't worry, don't worry, Nini has great artistic sense aru. Hmmmm how about Xiao Qiang! Little Cockroach!"_

"_Please, China this is a serious matter!" Japan lightly reproached the older nation as he flopped around laughing at his own joke._

_China wiped the corners of his eyes from mirth "Ah, sorry aru. I couldn't help myself."_

_China looked out at the landscape before him, searching for inspiration, "How about this?"_

_China plucked a chrysanthemum from his garden and tucked it behind Japan's ear, "How do you say Ju Hua in Japanese?" _

_Japan touched the flower in his hair, "Kiku. We call it Kiku."_

"_Ju Hua means happiness and joy, Kiku," China tried the foreign word on his tongue, "It fits you perfectly aru. You are my happiness and joy, as I'm sure you are to your people aru." China laid back down, resting his head on his hands and closing his eyes, leaving no room for discussion._

_Japan removed the flower from his ear and twirled it between his fingers. Happiness and joy…he didn't mind being called Kiku. _

"Japan! Oy, Japan!" someone's hand waved in front of his eyes, bringing him back to reality.

When he looked to see who the hand belonged to, he met with England's concerned face.

"England. Is something the matter?"

"That's what I should be asking you! Did America rot away your brain with all his stupid ideas?

"What do you mean?"

England swept his arms in a circle, indicating that everyone had left except for him and Japan, "What are you doing sitting in a daze then?"

A blush crept onto Japan's cheeks, "I'm sorry. I…I was lost in thought."

England heaved a sigh and sat in the empty chair next to Japan, "Is this something you want to talk about?"

Japan glanced at England before turning his eyes back to the fists clenched on his thighs. This was a good opportunity as any. Who was better to ask than England? Although England often got into arguments with America, you'd have to be blind not to notice England's affection for his former colony. The same colony that raised his musket at England all those centuries ago.

"England," Japan asked hesitantly, not sure where to begin, "how…how is it that you still care for A…America-san?"

England's entire face burned red, "W…why are you asking that? I…I don't care for that git! If you're that bored to be concerned about that, then you're fine!"

Japan hurriedly grabbed onto England's arm as the other nation tried to briskly walk away, "No. That's not what I meant!"

"Then what the bloody hell do you mean?"

Japan looked away from England's piercing gaze, "It's…it's about China."

After a long silence, all England could say was, "Oh."

England cleared his throat and sat back down, "I'm sorry about that earlier. However, I still don't get how my relationship with that wanker relates to you and China."

"I know you won't admit it, but you care about America-san even after he revolted against you. Why did you forgive him? He shot at you didn't he?"

England, face still tomato red, grumbled something under his breath.

"Excuse me? I'm sorry I didn't hear what you said."

"I said, you better not fucking tell what I'm about to tell you to that fucking bloody alien obsessed idiot!"

Japan, not even phased by the outburst, nodded his head. England heaved a sigh and ran a hand through his hair in frustration, "I admit I was angry at him for rebelling against me. I wanted to tear him limb from limb for even thinking about raising his rifle at me! Who did he think raised him? I did! And it wasn't easy either, with that pervert France and stupid Spain getting in the way."

England sighed again, placing Japan's hand in his, "But Japan, I never once hated him. I was angry, disappointed, sad, and lonely even but I never hated him."

In answer, a barely heard "Why?" was whispered.

England gave Japan a paternal pat on the hand before getting up and began walking towards the door. Just before he left, he turned back around and gave a jaunty reply- something similar to what America would do, "Because family could never truly hate each other. We fight and we quarrel but deep down we still love one another. That's how all families work."

England waved to the other nation both as a symbol of farewell and good luck. As he watched England leave, Japan just sat there, letting the parting words he left sink in.

**_A Week Later_**

The house- the house that he left so long ago- looked exactly the same. Japan shook his head. No there were changes, subtle though they were. If he looked closely, he could see that the porch where he and China once star gazed was replaced with hardwood typical of modern homes. The doors and windows were no longer made of paper but of glass. Somewhere in the distance, he could hear the humming of a generator. And the garden…in the garden peonies replaced the chrysanthemums.

Japan took a deep breath. He didn't come all the way here just to runaway like a coward. Mustering as much courage as he could, he knocked on the door. He waited for a few moments and before long, he heard some stomping and a voice calling out, "Coming! Coming aru!"

Japan felt sweat run down his back as the door slowly swung open. When China saw Japan standing at his doorstep, his eyes narrowed in suspicion, "What are you doing here, aru?"

"Ah, always so direct," Japan thought.

Just beyond the open door, Japan could hear yelling and laughing inside the house. And…was that Taiwan's voice he heard?

"Yes, it's her."

Japan was taken aback. He didn't mean to voice out his thoughts but he was just so surprised.

His shock must have still shown on his face because China crossed his arms in front of his chest and huffed out in indignation, "Just because our nations do not get along, does not mean we can't as people aru. Now are you going to tell me why you're here or are we just going to keep standing around?"

"Maybe it'll be easy if I give him a present first," Japan thought as he reached behind his back for the Hello Kitty doll.

China quickly stumbled back, ready to close the door. Japan's smile wavered slightly when he saw fear flash through China's face. Of course he would remember what Japan pulled out behind he back that last time they were together.

"I…I thought you might like this," Japan held out the Hello Kitty doll with both hands in a bowed position.

Although Japan couldn't see China's face, he could hear the uncertainty in his voice as China hesitantly took the doll from Japan, "Uh…thank you for the gift aru."

They stood in silence but it was different from the one they shared when China gave Japan his human name. This one was suffocating. Japan didn't look up and just continued to stare at the ground beneath him. What now?

"The peonies are nice. They mean riches and honor right?"

Japan could feel China's questioning gaze at the sudden change in topic, "Yes, they are aru. Plum blossoms in the winter, peonies in the spring, and chrysanthemums in the fall."

Japan snapped his head up, "Chrysanthemums?"

"Yes. Is something wrong with having chrysanthemums aru? You're named after them you know."

Before Japan could answer, the voices he heard earlier grew in volume and without notice, Korea bounded up behind China using him as a shield from Taiwan who was closely followed by Hong Kong.

"Korea, you're gonna get it this time! I told you to stop cheating!" Taiwan said, viciously trying to smack Korea with a frying pan.

"I don't know what you're talking about. Just because I was winning, you're calling me a cheater. Hong Kong is my witness!"

Knowing better, Hong Kong just stood to the side and declined to comment that he saw Korea stuff extra cards up his sleeves.

"Both of you, stop it! Stop it aru. I'm getting dizzy," China wheezed out as Korea and Taiwan continued to circle him.

Japan watched on in silence at the rowdy scene before him. So this- this was what he lost when he decided to fraternize with the Western powers. He had always wondered what was missing as he walked alone in his home. Now he knew. He lost "life". His house was nothing more than an empty shell. An imitation of what it once was when Korea, Hong Kong, Taiwan, and China visited, bringing with them liveliness, noise, and warmth.

"I'm sorry!" Japan knelt on the ground suddenly, silencing the other nations.

Feelings of loneliness and regret built up and billowed forth from Japan, "I'm sorry! I'm truly sorry! I know I've done terrible things to all of you and I won't blame you if you won't forgive me," Japan bit his lips as tears fell from his face and onto peony petals, "but please…please let me make it up to you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm honestly sorry! So please, please…let me…I'm sorry…"

Japan continued to choke and sob out his apology like a broken record, switching between begging for forgiveness and apologizing. He was so lost in his world of guilt, that he didn't hear the soft footsteps approach him until he felt a delicate hand placed on his shoulder. Japan jerked his head up and saw China's benign smile- a smile he missed so much.

China wiped away Japan's tear with the sleeve of his shirt and pulled him up, "Let's get you cleaned up inside."

Japan stood where he was, bewildered. Behind China, he could see Korea jump around, clapping his hands above his head, Taiwan wiping the corners of her eyes, and Hong Kong smile kindly at him.

China turned back around with Hello Kitty clutched close to his heart, "Is something the matter aru?"

"Am I…am I forgiven?"

Taiwan answered for the older nation by tackling Japan just like she use to as a child, "Of course, you stubborn hikimori! We would've forgiven you a long time ago if you'd apologize!"

Taiwan let go of Japan's neck and glared at China, "And YOU, you didn't make it easy for Japan to apologize, what with ignoring him and all."

China just pouted, "But he hurt my back! Did you know how many tiger balm I used after that aru?"

As Taiwan and China got into another heated argument, Hong Kong walked straight up to Japan, giving him a slight bow, "Welcome home, Japan."

Japan gave a wobbly smile to his younger brother before saying in a hoarse voice, "It's good to be back."

Never one to lose attention to Japan, Korea wrapped an arm around the other nation and exclaimed, "Okay, okay since we've established Japan as part of the family again, can we get back to playing poker? I was kicking Taiwan's ass, which by the way belongs to me."

"You were not winning and no part of me belongs to you!"

Just as Taiwan was going to launch herself at Korea for another battle, China grabbed her by the collar and sighed, "Alright everyone. It's getting late aru. Let's get back inside and eat dinner."

China looked at Japan for a minute before holding out his hand- just like he did when Japan was a child. Japan gave a watery chuckle and grabbed onto the older nation's hand, deciding this time, he was never going to let go. Tears were freely running down his face again but it was no longer tinged with sadness. It was impossible to be unhappy while surrounded by such warmth. He didn't even mind when Korea exclaimed that hikimori originated from him. It was good to be part of the family again.

**The End**

A/N: _(Of all I've written, this, the beginning of Show of Affection, and Waiting For Your Return are my favorites. I just like the description or how the story is set up XD)_

Okay so I know I kinda made it seem easy that Japan got forgiven pretty easily. Like I said, I took liberty with some facts. Yes I do know Japanese wanted to wipe out Korean identity by making Korean speak Japanese, worship Shinto, and change their names to Japanese names. I'm not oblivious to the fact of what happened during the Rape of Nanjing. A lot of things happened during the time of imperialism and WWII. Allow me just to say that after the Korean War, Japan (along with the US) offered financial assistance to South Korea. South Korea at the time was still focused for agriculture. After the war, they were suffering major famines while North Korea prospered due to the fact that it was backed by China and USSR and was industrialized. Another thing is that although Germany and Italy faced heavy war crime punishment, Japan escaped with a tap on the wrist due to the fact that Mao Zhedong wanted to forget all the nastiness in the war. He wanted to have friendly relations with the only modernized Asian country as soon as possible in an attempt to quickly modernize China (why he remained such a powerful political leader after the Great Leap Forward, remains a mystery to me since all his policy sucked). Many Chinese now of course regret such a decision. Relations are still strained but have gradually improved with the new Prime Minister of Japan. A joint study is being done both PRC and Japan over the WWII war atrocities.

In regards to China and Taiwan relation...they still suck no doubt about that. After WWII, Taiwan was recognized as the representation of China during UN meetings. After US and mainland China established a relationship in 1971, Taiwan was kicked out and PRC replaced them (Yao you slut). As a side note, Japan right after the war wanted to re-establish their relation with China but because Japan was occupied by the US, the US refused them that right due to the fear of the spread of communism. Japan was greatly outraged when the US went behind their backs and normalized relations with China first in 1971.

On the last note, I am in no way advocating that Japan should be allowed to forget what they did during their quest for imperialism. This was merely written with the characters (not the country they are representing) in mind with some chosen historical facts. Please do not bash the author. I'm merely the victim of Hetalia who makes history so interesting and lovable.

On a last last note: I apologize for not including the Asian country that you wanted. It would've been hard, if near impossible for me to include more than I already did. I apologize for my epic fail OTL


End file.
